31 Hilariously Funny Limericks Only A Few People Will Understand

31 Funny Limericks only cleaver people will get it 0
Handsome middle age elegant senior man over isolated background Smiling and laughing hard out loud because funny crazy joke. Happy expression.

Are you looking for a laugh? Check out these 31 hilariously funny limericks only a few people will understand!

  1. I know a man who’s quite amazing

His feet they are size twelve and three quarters

But when he stands on his head

His shoes look just like bread

And everyone says isn’t he clever!

  1. There was an old lady from Sussex

Who took too much tea and got dizzyness

She fell in the fire

And burnt her whole attire

Now she wears nothing but bikinis!

  1. A poet called Simon

Whose verses were all about Simon

When asked to write more

He said, “I’m sorry, I’m poor”

But we all thought it was hilarious!

  1. There was an old man of Peru

Whose limit was half past two

He sat down to tea

And said, “By Jove, I’m beat!”

But nobody paid any attention to him.

  1. A clever young man from Dundee

Said “I don’t need any keys

I can pick any lock

With just a piece of string

Or even better- with my nose!”

  1. I’m not very good at riddles

But I know one that’s sure to make you giggle:

What has four legs and an arm?

A chair!

  1. There once was a man from Nantucket

Who kept all of his cash in a bucket

His wife said, “Darling, spend

Some of that money, or we’ll end

Up as poor as a pair of old socks!”

  1. There once was an opera singer

Who couldn’t hit the high notes any longer

Her husband said, “Don’t worry, dear

Just give it some time and you’ll be back to your career”

But she never recovered and ended up teaching junior high school.

  1. There once was a woman who loved to bake pies

She spent all day in the kitchen with her eyes on the skies

The pies were delicious, but each one took forever to make

So she decided to open up a pie shop…

And it quickly became very successful!

  1. There once was a man who loved to fish

But he never could quite catch his wish

One day he caught a big fish

And he was so ecstatic

He forgot all about fishing and went home to make a dish!

  1. There once was a fellow named Matt

Who couldn’t quite figure out math.

He asked his friend Pete,

“Is this stuff really that tough,

Or am I just being a dunce?”

  1. A poet I know writes in free verse,

But all of his poems are worse.

I suggested he try a limerick or two–

Now his work is much more comical for you!

  1. A priest, a rabbi and a minister

Walk into a bar, what a tinder!

The bartender says, “What is this? A joke?”

They say, “No, we’re just here for the free beer!”

  1. There was a young fellow named Bates

Who took too many pills by mistake.

Fate, however, was kind,

And he didn’t lose his mind–

He just shrank about an inch in height.

  1. A clever young man from Japan

Went out on a date with a girl named Ann.

Though she was quite pretty,

He found her much sweeter

When she came with her sister and twin.

  1. I know a girl who’s addicted to clothes shopping

She spends all her money and never stops

Her boyfriend says ” babe, I think its time we talk”

But she says “no way, I’m not going to stop”

  1. I know a girl who’s quite unique

She loves to stand on her head and speak

When she’s upside down,

The words come out wrong

But we still think she’s pretty darn neat!

  1. There once was a man from Peru

Who had nothing much to do

So he sat on his couch

all day long

Just eating brownies and watching TV.

  1. A fellow hopped into a cab,

And off they did speed with great fervor.

But soon the driver realized

That the fare was too much for him,

So he kicked out the chap with great ardor.

  1. There once was an old lady from Lyme

Who swallowed a fly to save time

When asked why she did it

She replied with a shrug

“I dunno… I guess I just wasn’t thinking at the time!”

  1. An airplane is about to crash

There are five passengers aboard

And only four parachutes

Who gets the last parachute?

The clever person, of course!

  1. An amoeba named Max

Once swallowed a tax

The IRS said “You owe us!”

Max replied, “But I’m just one cell!”


  1. I know a dog named Poe

Who’s always eating his toe

When asked why he does it

He says, “It tastes good!”

  1. There was an old man from Peru

Who fell in the soup at his zoo

When the animals saw it

They all started to doo-doo!

  1. A man went to a bar

And asked for a jar

When the bartender said “No”

The man replied, “I am not a star”

  1. I know a man named Art

Who has a large wart

On the end of his nose

It looks like a rose!

  1. A woman went to buy some cheese

But all that she found was moldy and green

She took it home anyway

And fed it to her cat, who said “Meow!”

  1. A woman went to a pet store

To buy herself a parakeet

But when she got home

She found a monkey inside it!

  1. There was a young fellow from Belfast

Who liked to drink whisky and eat grass.

But when he was found,

His stomach was round,

And the whisky had come out his… you know!

  1. I’m a little teapot, short and stout.

Here is my handle, here is my spout.

When I get all steamed up,

Hear me shout:

“Tip me over and pour me out!”

  1. A man in a hurry went to confession.

Said the priest, “What is your transgression?”

The man said, “I cut corners.”

The priest said, “No wonder!…

You should be ashamed of such transgressions!”


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