71 Funny Hippo Jokes And Puns

Hippos are some of the most popular animals at zoos and safari parks. They’re also one of the most popular subjects of jokes and puns.

Here are 71 funny hippo jokes and puns:

1. What does a hippo use to wash its clothes? A Hippopotamus!
2. Why did the baby hippo cross the road? To get to the other tide!
3. How do you catch a runaway hippo? With a stick!
4. What’s a hippo’s favorite type of ice cream? Häagen-Dazs!
5. What’s a hippo’s favorite TV show? The Bachelor!
6. What does a hippo say when it’s angry? “Grrrr…!”
7. What does a hippo say when it’s happy? “Hippity-hoppity!”
8. What does a hippo say when it’s sad? “Boo hoo…”
9. What do you call a hippo with flu? A sickopotamus!
10. How do you throw a Hippopotamus party? You invited everyone but the lions!
11. What do you call a hippo in a tutu? A hippi-tutu!
12. What do you call a hippo with no legs? A groundhog!
13. How do you stop a charging hippo? Take away its credit card!
14. Why are hippos such bad liars? Because they’re always wheelying!
15. What’s the difference between a hippo and a zebra? One is an ugly beast that lives in the water, and the other is a beautiful creature that stripes when it’s wet!
16. How does a hipster pronounce “hippopotamus”? With an “i” before the “p”!
17. How do you throw a space party? You planet!
18. What does a hippo eat for breakfast? cereal!
19. How does a hippo greet someone? With a big hug!
20. What’s a hippo’s favorite game? hide and seek!
21. What do you call a hippo with no legs? A log!
22. How does a hippo get to school? By bus!
23. Why are hippos so mean? Because they’re always hungry!
24. What do you call a hippo with six legs? A hexapotamus!
25. What’s a hippo’s favorite TV show? The Wheel of Fortune!
26. Where do hippos go to dance? The hip-hop club!
27. What do you call a baby hippo? A calf-lina!
28. How does a hippo stay cool in the summer? By taking mud baths!
29. What do you get when you cross a zebra and a hippo? Zippity Do Dah Hippopotamus!
30. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the hungry hippo!
31. How does a hippo get out of a swimming pool? It uses the stairs!
32. What do you call a hippo with no teeth? A gummy bear!
33. What’s a hippo’s favorite TV show? The Biggest Loser!
34. How does a hippo order room service at a hotel? By saying, “I’d like some food please!”
35. Why are hippos so bad at soccer? Because every time they kick the ball, it goes flying into the air and then falls down into the water!
36. Why did the hipster go to the zoo? To see the ironic animals!
37. What do you call a group of baby hippos? A herd of Calflowers!
38. What do you call a hippo with no legs? A groundhog!
39. How do you catch a hippo? You tie him to a tree and wait for him to get hungry!
40. What do you call a sleeping hippo? A Hypnotist!
41. What’s a hippo’s favorite game? Hide and seek!
42. What do you call a Hippopotamus with an itchy butt? A Scratchpotamus!
43. How does a Hippopotamus get out of jail? He buys the judge a new car!
44. Why did the Hippopotamus go to the movies by himself? Because he loved “The Lion King”!
45. What do you call a hippo in a tutu? A Hippi!
46. How does a hippo order food at a restaurant? By saying, “I’ll have the salad, please!”
47. What’s a hippo’s favorite TV show? The Crocodile Hunter!
48. What kind of music do hippos like? Hip hop!
49. How do you catch a runaway hippo? With a trampoline!
50. Where do hippos go on vacation? The Nile River!
51. What’s the best way to describe a wet hippo? A prune with legs!
52. What’s a hippo’s favorite food? Watermelons!
53. How much does a baby hippo weigh? A ton!
54. Why are hippos so dangerous? Because they’re always hungry!
55. How do you catch a Hippopotamus? You tie him to a post and wait for him to get hungry!
56. What’s the difference between a Hippopotamus and a truckload of manure? One is big, smelly, and dangerous, while the other is just big and dangerous!
57. What do you call a group of hippos swimming in the river? A school of fish!
58. What’s a hippo’s favorite food? Watermelons!
59. What’s a hippo’s least favorite food? Hay!
60. How do you catch a hippo? By the river!
61. How do you weigh a hippo? On a scale!
62. How does a female hippo find a mate? She goes on eHarmony!
63. What’s a baby hippo called? A calf!
64. What does a hippo use to brush its teeth? A toothbrush, of course!
65. What’s the difference between a Hippopotamus and an elephant? One is big, grey, and ugly. The other is an elephant!
66. Did you hear about the lazy hippo? He was too tired to go to the river to eat!
67. What’s the difference between a hippo and a zebra? A hippo has shorter stripes!
68. How does a hippo brush its teeth? With a toothbrush, of course!
69. What did the mother hippo say to her baby? It’s time to get up and graze!
70. Why are hippos so bad at math? Because they’re always subtracting weight!
71. How do you throw a Hippopotamus off a cliff? Give him a push!

Hippos are hilarious animals and one thing many people never knew about hippos, they are very fun and smart in their own ways. Enjoy these amazing jokes about hippos and share them with a friend.