The holidays are a time for family, friends, and laughter. If you’re looking for some holiday cheer, here are 64 funny Christmas jokes to share around this year:
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal Snowman!
- Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live!
- What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker!
- How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming? Oh, he just uses his nose!
- What do you call an elf who doesn”t work? A rebel without a Claus!
- Why did Mrs. Claus sue Santa Claus for divorce? Because he was constantly coming down her chimney!
- How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas? Deep pan, crisp and even!
- Why does Scrooge love Marley’s Ghost so much? Because he’s dead cheap! (I’m sorry!)
- How does Santa Claus take pictures? With a North Pole-aroid camera!
- What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? No Eyed-deer! (I know, I know…)
- Why does Santa Claus have such big feet? Because his work boots were too small for him!
- What is more fun than eating candy canes? Eating candy cane pizza!
- Why are elves so good at taking pictures? Because they have elf-sight!
- Who is the best singer in the world? Someone who has been singing since they were born, of course – their parents!
- What do you call two reindeer that are lovers? Rudolph and Dancer!
- What do you call an elf that has lost their sense of smell? Santa’s little helper (smells like one)!
- How do you make a snowman fly? Give him wings!
- Why was the Christmas tree sad? It had no one to pine for it!
- What happens when an elf gets run over by a reindeer? He becomes an underachiever in training!
- What kind of snowman has no nose? Frosty the not-so-jolly one!”
- What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs!
- How does Santa Claus keep his clothes clean? By washing them in Coke every night!
- How does Santa Claus get down all those chimneys? He takes the stairs!
- Why didn’t the snowman want to go to the party? Because he was afraid of melting!
- How do you know when Santa Claus has been at your house? When you find him in your bed with your wife and a note that says “make more cookies”!
- What do you get when you cross Santa Claus with a duck? A Christmas Quacker
- What do reindeer hang out with when they’re not working? Deer friends!
- How does Santa Claus take pictures? With his North Pole-aroid camera!
- What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? I don’t know, what do you call a reindeer with no eyes? No ideer!
- Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed? Because he had low elf esteem!
- What do you get when you cross an arctic fox with a snowman? Frosty the Snowfox!
- How doesSanta Claus deliver presents to cats? In kitty litter!
- How does Santa Claus stay fit? By jogging down chimneys!
- What do reindeer hang out with when they’re not working? Deer friends!
- How does Santa Claus take pictures? With his North Pole-aroid camera!
- What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? I don’t know, what do you call a reindeer with no eyes? No ideer!
- Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed? Because he had low elf esteem!
- What do you get when you cross an arctic fox with a snowman? Frosty the Snowfox!
- How does Santa Claus deliver presents to cats? In kitty litter!
- How does Santa Claus stay fit? By jogging down chimneys!
- How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas? Deep pan, crisp and even!
- What kind of music do elves like best? Christmas carols!
- O. Why did Santa Claus go to the doctor? Because he had a bad case of elf-abetes!
- How does Santa Claus take pictures? With his North Pole-aroid camera!
- What do reindeer hang up on their Christmas trees? Horn-amentes!
- Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Because every buck is dear to him!
- Where does Santa keep his money? In a snow bank!
- How come Santa Claus knows when you’ve been bad or good? He has little elves following you around all year long, taking notes and reporting back to him daily!
- What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a monkey? A chimp off the old block!
- Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed? Because he had low elf esteem!
- Where does Santa Claus keep his armies? Up his sleevies!
- How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7 pounds, 6 ounces when he was born? They had a weighing scale next to the manager!
- Why are Christmas trees very bad liars? Because they keep shedding their needles!
- How does Santa Claus get into houses? Through the chimney, of course!
- What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Yamahama!
- What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? No-eyed-deer!
- How do you fix a broken Christmas tree? With a Christmas trimmer!
- What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree? Nice gnawing you!
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the Christmas dinner table!
- What do you call an elf with no ears? Anything you want, he’s not listening!
- How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas? Deep and crisp and even!
- Why was Cinderella thrown off the football team? Because she ran away from the ball!
- How can you tell if Santa has been in your house? You have presents but they’re all for yourself!
- Where does Rudolph go to school? Reindeer University!
Holiday season is fun and amazing, It brings us joy and reunion with loved ones. Put a smile on someone’s face with these fun jokes by sharing them.
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